I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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