I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
