i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
is that a dick in a sweater?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
