How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
