it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
