well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
