I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
