me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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