i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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