I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
