What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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