SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
