sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
