I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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