i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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