How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
