come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
