i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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