Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
thus making me awesome and them whores
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
