whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
