talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
pop tarts are not kleenex
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
