its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
