So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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