ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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