in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
