Kiss
Puke
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
