so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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