it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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