Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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