So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
