bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
