i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
