Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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