so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
