Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
