my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
