Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
