real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
