Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize