You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize