Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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