I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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