but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We are two peas in an std pod
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
