Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
