Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
