he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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