My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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