ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
