found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
