eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
