I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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