I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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