"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
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