i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
