He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
