Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
