They have a pepper shaker for pot.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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