so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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