i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
