He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize