I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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