Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize