Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize