Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
