Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
